Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Klatu…verata…ni**cough cough cough**


Bonus points if you can name two of the four movies that PART of the title of this post could be from. It’s not that hard…and don’t cheat by using google or any other search engine! I want to see how many movie you all have seen!

So, I guess this is the point in my post that I say “Hi” and “I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last wrote”. I’m getting pretty good at those things as I’m such a bum when it comes to A) writing emails B) writing posts C) keeping up with friends and D) doing pretty much anything besides work, eat and sleep.

Actually, that brings up my main topic for the day…stress. It’s come to my attention lately that I’m under some serious stress…and I’m not dealing with it very well. I don’t know WHY I haven’t figured out how to deal with stress well yet. I mean, here I am…about ready to begin my 30th year of life…and I can’t deal with stress. Sure sure, you might say that there are people that are 40, 50 or even older that don’t know how to deal well with stress…but they aren’t my problem. I am my problem.

I don’t know really how to describe how I came to the conclusion that I am not dealing well with stress. It could be that I’ve noticed my “fuse” getting shorter and shorter (some might say “non-existent” here…but I disagree). I like to think of myself as a fairly patient person. I can take quite a beating before I decide that I’ve had enough. I say “beating” in a figurative sense (I don’t want anyone to think that groovy beats me!)…just the trappings of day-to-day life tend to build up and finally become overwhelming and I lose the firm grasp that I have on myself and my emotions.

It could be that I feel like I haven’t had any time to really unwind. I generally get out of bed between 6:30 and 7 at which time I proceed to sit around the house, muck about with the trash or cleaning or whatever, run some errands, go to work around 11:30 (at which I am ALWAYS at least ½ hour early), get off at 8, eat supper and then go to bed. Pretty miserable…I know. Add to that the fact that I am decidedly a morning person, and you realize that when 8:30 or so rolls around, I have ZERO energy. I used to play games in the mornings so that I could “pre-unwind”…but I have found that a complete waste of time and have all but quit entirely. I need to find something else.

I don’t know how much I can honestly say about my job, here. I mean, I know that I’ve talked about my jobs before…but that was before anyone at my previous jobs read my blog! I mean (not that I would), but can you see me expressing my thoughts an opinions about my job only to find out that one of my coworkers reads this and is intent on sabotaging my job! Goodness…talk about pointless! Anyway, I know that I do a darn good job at work because I do the best that I can. My best is, by definition, the best I can do…and yet, that’s also an area of stress for me. I’m not really a perfectionist (but I’ve lived with one) and I’m not really an over-achiever (I just do the best that I can all the time). I’ve always had a problem with working with people who don’t put 100% of themselves into their job. That’s not right or fair, I know…but I do it anyway.

That’s one of the other reasons I don’t think I would make a very good manager…I’m too demanding of myself in a work environment, and I’m sure I would hold everyone else to my standards. Granted, in a working environment, your work needs to be good…but it isn’t necessary to be THE BEST! Well, all of the time, anyway. Also, I don’t compliment people. At all. That’s an area of frustration for more than just myself, as you can imagine. I find words hollow…meaningless. “Actions speak louder than words” is something that we’ve all heard and something I agree with 110%...but, that doesn’t work for most people. Just one more thing to learn…

This has been a different post. I don’t know what the point of it is supposed to be other than self-assessment. If nobody comments (other than to tell me the movies!!!), I won’t be offended at all.