Sometimes all we need is a crisis...

So…I realize it’s been November since I last wrote on this blog. I wish I could say that the reason was a good one…it’s not. I’ve been busy. So very busy. Lots of stuff has happened – some of it good, some of it bad. I guess the important part of all of this is the fact that I’m still alive and well…and continuing to press on day after day and trying to fight the good fight.

I feel like a new person in many respects. The Scott that was here and writing in November doesn’t exist really any more except in name. That sounds…scary…sometimes. I mean, how does one change so much as to really admit and to honestly think that they are a new person? For me…everything has changed.

I’m working on being positive. I’ve learned that bad crap happens to EVERYONE, but that some people are blessed with the ability to shrug off that stuff, to not let it become who they are or to let it monopolize their life. I wasn’t one of those people at all, but am learning how to become that way. Things that normally would have bothered me for weeks on end, if not longer, now only really get to me for a day at the worst. Learning how to let go…it’s such a freeing thought process that, if I could master it, would lead to a much happier life.

There’s a saying that goes, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.” At one time, I would have said this was garbage logic. I mean, who wants to go through the pain of losing someone? It sucks! But…how less fulfilling is life without the connections that we make with other people – be it friendship or otherwise.

Stress is a killer. It can turn you into a different person. An ugly person that gets no joy out of life…out of friends…out of anything. We opened an office in Bozeman, moved our main office in Helena, fought a major virus on the network and many other day-to-day projects all since November. These are all stressful events, but when coupled with a really serious depression…well, the results aren’t good. Well…I guess that statement really isn’t fair. It’s all in how the combination of events are handled really. What could have been a very bad situation that would have ended in an undesirable way ended up being the catalyst for change. So, in that light, maybe the stress and depression weren’t such a bad thing after all.

I got a message from Groovy the other day on FaceBook asking me to add her as a friend. I didn’t even consider it. Some things are better left in the past and I think having her in my life would only dredge up frustrations and things that I don’t need. I’m trying to make my life easier. More simplistic. It’s difficult, to be sure…but in the end, well worth the effort, I think.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I was still alive and well. Work is still work, but at least it is better than it was. My life is still my life, but it, too, is better than it was. Ups and downs will happen in life…it’s how you chose to move on from the negative events that really define a person’s character. I can only hope that I can continue down this path of self-improvement.