Damn it Jim, I'm a Computer Geek, not a Plumber!
I decided to play plumber this weekend and fix some small issues here. The following is just 1/3 the tale.
I knew the sink problem was going to be a little more involved, which is why I saved it for last. I knew that I would have to remove the old drain and then replace it with a new one (as the new one would have a working stopping mechanism). I had gone to Home Depot earlier that morning and had purchased everything that I thought I would need. The following is a dramatization of what the whole process was like…
Ok, I gathered up all my tools (channel locks and a screwdriver) that I will need, all the hardware that I would need (drain with stopper mechanism attached, plumbers putty and tape) and I sat on the floor (which just so happens to be pretty close to where I need to be to get to the bottom of the sink). I look at the sink and decide that the best way to go about this would be to turn off the water at the sink first…to remove the possibility of some idiot (me) turning on the water with no drain pipe attached. I did that and felt that was a good start.
I then got out my channel locks and disconnected the P trap (why it’s called that, I have no idea…it doesn’t LOOK like a P and if anything should have a P trap, it should be the toilet, but I digress) or, a better way to put that would be “I tried loosening the P trap and it fell to the floor”. Apparently it was being held there by good looks and charm…and not much of either. I then decided that removing the pull for the stopper would also show progress, so I took it out. “Looking good, Billy-Ray!”
Next to go would be the actual drain pipe. There was a large rust-covered nut and a crusty rubber washer that I removed, thinking that, having done so, the drain would come right out. It didn’t. I look at it again and then looked at the new one and realized that there is a piece that screws in from the top that holds it in from the top (if you’ve done this before, you know what I mean). So I stand up and look down into the sink and laugh because I can see the floor. I try to move the ring around (the rosey?)…but it’s not moving. At all. I mean, whatever is holding this thing together could be used to make bridges or something. Good stuff. I decide that what I need is something that will fit down in that has some “grip” to it that will hold the inside of the top piece so that I could spin it. I look around all over and decide that while I have nothing ready-made that will work like I think it should, I could easily fashion something out of a pair of pliers and some painters tape (McGyver, eat your heart out!).
It didn’t work. Look, McGyver had to fail sometimes…right? Those were the outtakes…we never saw them, but they had to have happened.
Hmm…what to do, what to do? When in doubt, force it out! I go back to the toolbox and get my hammer and sit back down on the floor looking at the stub of a pipe that is left to be removed so I can put the new one in. I tap it with no results. I tap again (repeatedly). Nothing. Hmm…when faced with an immovable force, apply more pressure! I rear back with the hammer and connect with the pipe hard enough to make Babe Ruth smile. It moved…but only about as much as a period. It was at this point that I started thinking that maybe calling a plumber would be a grand idea, but for some reason the part of me that thinks that I can do it (the dumb part) won out. I repeatedly hit the pipe and finally drove it about an inch or so up. Now, to unscrew the top piece.
I tried everything short of yelling at it…it didn’t want to move. It then dawned on me that there was no way that it was going to come unscrewed because I honestly think that one didn’t come as a kit…it was part of the sink (which would make it about 50 years old). Joy. I then decided that the only way this bad boy was going to come out was if it met power tools. Yes…that’s right…I brought power tools to a plumbing party. I went back over to the toolbox and got my Dremel (the single most useful plumbers helper in the world…this is not a selling point that Dremel Inc has stumbled across yet, but when they read this next bit, I’m sure they will). I decided that cutting across the top of the piece and then down to the sides where the gap was for the overflow drain would make it so that I could just bend the thing apart after that. I began cutting. It was at this point (me with power tools and goggles on) that my friend Babo and his son P-did came over. He looked at me and what I was trying to do…and laughed. I’m not kidding…he laughed.
Well, needless to say, pipes are like warm butter when being attacked by a cutting wheel that’s spinning at 35000 rpm. It came out! Yay! I put the new on back in there and it fit (yay!) and even the drain plug worked (yay!). So, after a couple minutes, everything was hooked back up and I turned the water back on. And did a test run. McGyver, please look the other way.
It leaked.
Babo decided that we needed to replace the P trap and the extension piece that went into the wall. To do that, we would need to remove the existing one, but that shouldn’t be a problem. We got the parts and (and a pipe wrench) and I got back to work after lunch. I looked at the once again disassembled drain for the sink and decided that removing the pipe probably wouldn’t be that much fun after all. There was more rust on that thing that on the one I had taken off earlier. I put the pipe wrench on the pipe and pushed. Absolutely nothing happened. I decided to skip to the Babe Ruth stage of the process and hit the wrench with a hammer and the nut came off (all in one piece even!). I then firmly grasped the extension pipe and pulled…but nothing happened. I tried this repeatedly (even hit it with the hammer a couple times), but nothing changed. I talked with Babo on the phone and we decided that heating the outside pipe would be easier than any of the other options. I, of course, don’t have a torch, but I did have matches.
No, no, I didn’t try to heat up the pipe with matches…that would be silly. I actually decided that gently pushing a screwdriver between the two pipes would make something happen…so I did that, but not so gently as one would think (I again used a hammer…I honestly didn’t know that hammers were used so often in plumbing) and the pipe finally came free. After cutting down the new pipe to fit to length, I put everything back together and decided that it was worth another test run. This time…no leaks.
In short, I learned a lot about plumbing this weekend. 1) Make sure you have a nice hammer and power tools with you. 2) Plumbing that is 50 years old isn’t going to be fun to work with (unless you like hammers and power tools). 3) People that work on computers for a living have NO business working on plumbing…so beware the computer geek that is wielding a pipe wrench because either way, he means business.
I knew the sink problem was going to be a little more involved, which is why I saved it for last. I knew that I would have to remove the old drain and then replace it with a new one (as the new one would have a working stopping mechanism). I had gone to Home Depot earlier that morning and had purchased everything that I thought I would need. The following is a dramatization of what the whole process was like…
Ok, I gathered up all my tools (channel locks and a screwdriver) that I will need, all the hardware that I would need (drain with stopper mechanism attached, plumbers putty and tape) and I sat on the floor (which just so happens to be pretty close to where I need to be to get to the bottom of the sink). I look at the sink and decide that the best way to go about this would be to turn off the water at the sink first…to remove the possibility of some idiot (me) turning on the water with no drain pipe attached. I did that and felt that was a good start.
I then got out my channel locks and disconnected the P trap (why it’s called that, I have no idea…it doesn’t LOOK like a P and if anything should have a P trap, it should be the toilet, but I digress) or, a better way to put that would be “I tried loosening the P trap and it fell to the floor”. Apparently it was being held there by good looks and charm…and not much of either. I then decided that removing the pull for the stopper would also show progress, so I took it out. “Looking good, Billy-Ray!”
Next to go would be the actual drain pipe. There was a large rust-covered nut and a crusty rubber washer that I removed, thinking that, having done so, the drain would come right out. It didn’t. I look at it again and then looked at the new one and realized that there is a piece that screws in from the top that holds it in from the top (if you’ve done this before, you know what I mean). So I stand up and look down into the sink and laugh because I can see the floor. I try to move the ring around (the rosey?)…but it’s not moving. At all. I mean, whatever is holding this thing together could be used to make bridges or something. Good stuff. I decide that what I need is something that will fit down in that has some “grip” to it that will hold the inside of the top piece so that I could spin it. I look around all over and decide that while I have nothing ready-made that will work like I think it should, I could easily fashion something out of a pair of pliers and some painters tape (McGyver, eat your heart out!).
It didn’t work. Look, McGyver had to fail sometimes…right? Those were the outtakes…we never saw them, but they had to have happened.
Hmm…what to do, what to do? When in doubt, force it out! I go back to the toolbox and get my hammer and sit back down on the floor looking at the stub of a pipe that is left to be removed so I can put the new one in. I tap it with no results. I tap again (repeatedly). Nothing. Hmm…when faced with an immovable force, apply more pressure! I rear back with the hammer and connect with the pipe hard enough to make Babe Ruth smile. It moved…but only about as much as a period. It was at this point that I started thinking that maybe calling a plumber would be a grand idea, but for some reason the part of me that thinks that I can do it (the dumb part) won out. I repeatedly hit the pipe and finally drove it about an inch or so up. Now, to unscrew the top piece.
I tried everything short of yelling at it…it didn’t want to move. It then dawned on me that there was no way that it was going to come unscrewed because I honestly think that one didn’t come as a kit…it was part of the sink (which would make it about 50 years old). Joy. I then decided that the only way this bad boy was going to come out was if it met power tools. Yes…that’s right…I brought power tools to a plumbing party. I went back over to the toolbox and got my Dremel (the single most useful plumbers helper in the world…this is not a selling point that Dremel Inc has stumbled across yet, but when they read this next bit, I’m sure they will). I decided that cutting across the top of the piece and then down to the sides where the gap was for the overflow drain would make it so that I could just bend the thing apart after that. I began cutting. It was at this point (me with power tools and goggles on) that my friend Babo and his son P-did came over. He looked at me and what I was trying to do…and laughed. I’m not kidding…he laughed.
Well, needless to say, pipes are like warm butter when being attacked by a cutting wheel that’s spinning at 35000 rpm. It came out! Yay! I put the new on back in there and it fit (yay!) and even the drain plug worked (yay!). So, after a couple minutes, everything was hooked back up and I turned the water back on. And did a test run. McGyver, please look the other way.
It leaked.
Babo decided that we needed to replace the P trap and the extension piece that went into the wall. To do that, we would need to remove the existing one, but that shouldn’t be a problem. We got the parts and (and a pipe wrench) and I got back to work after lunch. I looked at the once again disassembled drain for the sink and decided that removing the pipe probably wouldn’t be that much fun after all. There was more rust on that thing that on the one I had taken off earlier. I put the pipe wrench on the pipe and pushed. Absolutely nothing happened. I decided to skip to the Babe Ruth stage of the process and hit the wrench with a hammer and the nut came off (all in one piece even!). I then firmly grasped the extension pipe and pulled…but nothing happened. I tried this repeatedly (even hit it with the hammer a couple times), but nothing changed. I talked with Babo on the phone and we decided that heating the outside pipe would be easier than any of the other options. I, of course, don’t have a torch, but I did have matches.
No, no, I didn’t try to heat up the pipe with matches…that would be silly. I actually decided that gently pushing a screwdriver between the two pipes would make something happen…so I did that, but not so gently as one would think (I again used a hammer…I honestly didn’t know that hammers were used so often in plumbing) and the pipe finally came free. After cutting down the new pipe to fit to length, I put everything back together and decided that it was worth another test run. This time…no leaks.
In short, I learned a lot about plumbing this weekend. 1) Make sure you have a nice hammer and power tools with you. 2) Plumbing that is 50 years old isn’t going to be fun to work with (unless you like hammers and power tools). 3) People that work on computers for a living have NO business working on plumbing…so beware the computer geek that is wielding a pipe wrench because either way, he means business.
posted by LaTech at 7:02 PM
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