Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Hello one and all…it’s that time once again…time for me to spend some time writing things that I feel like writing in the hopes that it will allow me to connect with some of you in some way. I dare say, most of the time this doesn’t work and, quite honestly, could end up pushing those of you away that I don’t want to push away…but I digress…

Have been doing quite a bit of thinking the last few weeks and have come up with several things I wish to put down in writing in the hopes that, having been written down, I will be more likely to accomplish these thing and or will find the courage and drive to change the things that I think I need to…as follows…

I last wrote about how I hated the holiday season. I received several emails concerning this that I have not posted to this blog, nor will I. Why? Well…the things that were written in them were more of a wakeup call for me rather than anything else and, while I suppose I could share the general idea of some of them, I would rather explain what has come about as a result.

1) I’ve got an interview scheduled for next week with Big Brothers, Big Sisters…I’m going to be a Big. Why? Well…I have wanted to find a way that I, as an individual, could make a difference not only in my community, but the world. What better way to make a difference than through the mentorship of a young person? I, being involved with Scouting, can look back at that as aiding me in becoming the person I am today…and I want someone in the future to be able to look back and say “You made a difference.” To quote a movie I saw last night, “You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you.”

2) I want to be more positive. Stuff happens to us throughout life that we can not control, but we DO have the ability to control how we react to those things. It is, as my dad likes to say, “20% what happens to you, and 80% how you react to it.” There is wisdom in this, I think, and I’m working on embracing that wisdom and making it a part of my life as much as possible.

3) I want to be more involved in my community. I know this doesn’t really sound like that much of a thing…but I’ll explain: I went to a hockey game with Bob-o, Mrs. Williams and P-did and after the game went to talk with the owner/GM of the team. After talking for a little bit, he gave me a card to call him Monday in which we’ll sit down and discuss what things he would like to have done to the Ice Rink (dealing with the network etc). In other words, I’ll be the official IT person for the Helena BigHorns! Bob-o and I also talked with the owner of a local Irish Restaurant/Pub and we’re going to redesign their website to make it better (yes, this is the same project I talked about doing in the past…but the old owner never really gave me the info I needed to do the updates).

These are just 3 small things…but they are evidence of bigger changes not only in me, but also in my outlook and my long term goals. Thanks to everyone that has been there for encouragement so far (Mrs. State Bar, Mrs. Blackfoot, Ms. Scarlet O’Hara, Mrs. Guatemala…and anyone else that I can’t remember right now). I thank you all.

I want to leave you with some lyrics that, while depressing, fill me with a sense of hope:

When I’m Gone – 3 Doors Down

“There's another world inside of me that you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Well somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find
Well maybe it's too far away
Or maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone”