"Welcome to Jurassic Park"

Hello one and all…it’s me, Scott, here to tell you a tale of adventure, intrigue, satire…it will have highs and lows, but nothing in between. Prepare yourself for a journey into the mind of none other than…me! Ok, so there won’t be any intrigue or satire…no highs or lows (except for those that I experienced) but there is plenty of stuff in between…so let’s get started.

Friday of last week, groovy and I set off for another adventure into the “South”…this time, once again, visiting with family and friends in North Carolina. This time, unlike last time, we took my truck as it was bigger and looked like it would fit in better with those that live in “The South” (you know who I’m talking about…those redneck wannabes). Actually, there were several reasons that we took the truck, but the most exciting is the fact that we were picking up a recliner, and I would have REALLY liked to have seen us put the recliner in/on groovy’s car without it getting scratched up and or mangled in any way thereby reducing the value of the vehicle to something along the lines of what one would pay for a pack of gum (/me takes a deep breath). The fact that we took the truck, while an interesting fact, isn’t that important.

We got there around 3:30pm and just hung out for a bit until Lawyerette’s boyfriend arrived (Mr. Teacher) and we all sat around chatting and stuff. Later still, groovy’s folks and Doctorette arrived and we all had some pizza and just got caught up as well as we could. I think quite a few of us were tired, regardless of the fact that it was St. Patrick’s Day, and we all went to bed.

Saturday morning, we had a leisurely breakfast and then around 11, The Princess Of Quite A Lot came over. I’ve known TPOQAL for quite a while (some say 2 years…still other say 3….who’s right and who’s wrong? I won’t say) but this was the first time that we were all going to meet (I say “we” because groovy and TPOQAL had been conversing via email for a while setting up all the happenings for our trip, etc) and I’ve got to tell you, I was kinda nervous! Yes, you heard it first…I was nervous. What if she wasn’t who I thought she was…what if she was weirder than I was (hey…it could happen)…or, even a scarier thought…what if she was exactly who I thought she was. Lucky for me, she was exactly who I thought she was (lucky for her, we weren’t a raving band of murders intent on another victim). Well, we all ended up going to the Carnivore Preservation Trust (http://www.cptigers.org/) which, if you visit their site, is a place for big cats (and small cats…heck, and small otter/bear/cat/monkey-like things) can live if they’ve been discarded or mistreated. And let me tell you, you drive up to the place and you see the fences with the electric fence stuff around it and you think, “We’re going to need a bigger boat.” No, wait…that’s the wrong movie. You think, “Welcome to Jurassic Park” (thus the title of this post…nice tie-in, eh?). Well anyway, that’s what I thought.

What was it like? Well, I’m glad you didn’t ask and that I did. Imagine if you will, being led along an outdoor oasis that (thankfully) had large pens for large cats (and smaller pens for smaller cats…and otter/bear/cat/monkey-like pens for otter/bear/cat/monkey-like things and…well, you get the idea) that you could walk within 2-3 feet of. Yes, that’s right…there is NOTHING between you and a 800lb tiger other than a chain length fence, and your tour guide (who was armed with a sharp, pointy stick and a bag of chicken legs…honestly, I think all the stick would do is make the tiger mad and the chicken would be like an appetizer for the main course. Anyway, there was one particularly ornery tiger by the name of Pollo who took great joy in showering everyone (well, he tried anyway) with urine. Yes…you read that right…he TRIED to pee on you. Thankfully, we were warned ahead of time and, other than one person falling to get out of the way, nobody was hurt. The place was really cool and worth the trip. Oh, I forgot, before you get to go in, you sign a waiver form. Yeah…so if you get eaten, it’s your own fault!

Saturday afternoon we all relaxed back at Lawyerette’s house until around 6 when we were all getting together to go eat at 7 (that doesn’t make sense, but if you were there, it made perfect sense). TPOQAL brought another one of my friends, Sir, with her. I’ve known Sir for a long time…nigh on 6 years or so. As true geeks, though, we’ve never met. Yeah, we’ve been friends through thick and thin (I’m thick, he’s thin…wait…erm) and yet have never met. But you know what…that didn’t matter at all. It was freakin awesome. We started talking and then it was like we had known each other for years (obvious joke aside). I’m still amazed at how things like that can happen…to be friends with someone for a long time, but never meet. And yet, when you do meet…it’s exactly how you thought it would be. We all went out to eat at this nice place that Lawyerette used to work at and everything was great.

Sunday, we ended up going on a hike (you can tell I’m trying to speed up though this so it’s not 123812 pages long) which was really nice. The weather was perfect and the scenery was awesome. Sunday evening, groovy and I got together again with Sir and TPOQAL at this local brewery/eatery. We laughed (at each other and at the woman that backed into my truck with us standing right there…“You parallel park just as well as I do!”), we cried (ok, not really) and we generally had a great time.

This morning, we got up, loaded the truck and started our drive home. Around 2, a woman passed us and was making gestures at me. I got worried (as any good driver does) and we ended up pulling over to see that we had a flat tire (left rear). There was just enough air in the tire to make it to the next off ramp where I showed groovy the finer points of changing a tire (you know...swearing at the manufacturer for designing an impossible way to store a tire UNDER the vehicle and for designing lift points that are virtually inaccessible with a flat tire) all the while singing to myself “sometimes you feel like a nut…sometimes you don’t”. The tire was changed and we were back on the road in no time.

In closing, I want to thank you for reading all this. It’s amazing, to me, to have friends that one has never met…and yet…has never been without. I thank you all.