Subservience…is it all it’s cracked up to be?

From the earliest times that I can remember, my parents have always told me, “The best thing you can be is a servant to others.” That is, the best thing you can do is to help people all the time. On some levels, I guess I can agree with this, but I can definitely see where this attitude can cause several problems not only with ones self, but also with the people that one chooses to associate with (namely significant others).

Let’s take work for an example real quick. From time to time, I am requested to do things for other people. Now, by other people, I mean: students, faculty or staff. Now, I have no problem helping out students; after all, they are the reason that I get paid every month! The problem is when one of the faculty or staff comes to me asking me to do some of their work so that they don’t have to. For instance: “Scott, I need to go back to my office for a second. Could you watch these students?” Of course I say, “Sure!” The second turns into five minutes, and finally a half hour. Frustrated, I walk away from the lab that the students that are in it (where they are supposed to be supervised).

Or, take friends for example. I have a friend that is CONSTANTLY asking me to do things for him. It’s not like I’m doing anything important or anything. So, I try to help him out as best I can, and then when I get back home to try and do the things that I need/want to do, there is no time, or I’m tired or whatever. On top of that, it’s never just one instance of him asking for something. It’s incessant. There is never really a time when we just sit there and talk. It’s always either about work, or him wanting me to do something for him. That’s not right!!! This causes great frustration for me that I, unfortunately, complain about.

Personally, I think it’s better to complain (express one’s feelings) about a thing than to let it build up and explode out of you at some later date when the thing that caused the frustration is long forgotten by everyone in the free world BUT you, and then when you DO blow up, everyone looks at you and says, “My goodness! Where did that come from? He always was such a patient person!” It’s crap, I tell you…CRAP!

I’m tired of being everyone’s doorstep. I’m tired of letting people take advantage of me. I’m tired of doing everyone else’s work and letting them reap the benefits. I’m tired of not being recognized for what it is that I actually do. I’m tired of these feelings of frustration that well up inside me when I say “Yes” when I really mean, “Do it yourself!!!!”

So…if I’m tired of all of this…what do I do? I’ll tell you…I don’t know. The logical thing to do would be to start expressing what I REALLY think about helping some people. That, unfortunately, goes against the grain of everything that I am and have been for the last 28 years. So, back to key question: What do I do? Well, dear reader…you tell me. What do I do? How do I stop this vicious cycle of subservience?