The Phoenix, Part 2 (To Groovy)
As I sit here and look at the past couple years of my life, I can’t help but think of all the mistakes that I’ve made. I won’t go into details on things, but suffice it to say, I don’t think I’m a very good person a good majority of the last couple years. I’ve been very concerned with myself instead of others, and this simple thing has got to change. My previous post should NEVER have been put up on the internet. It was essentially a rant that should have remained on my computer. To groovy, I most humbly and sincerely apologize for having posted it…it should have remained a private matter, and gone no further. I am sorry.
On Wednesday, the doctor that I went to see prescribed some medication for me and, aside from cotton mouth, mild headaches and insomnia, the net effect has been somewhat positive. I’ve laughed a lot more the last 5 days than I remember laughing for a very long time. More importantly, for me, anyway, is the fact that I can think so very clearly right now. The white noise that filled my mind has been removed….and the thoughts are very easy to follow. I can see the big picture now instead of all the bad trees…and I think this is a remarkable step.
One major thing in my life, as you know from my post which has now been edited, has been a general unhappiness in my relationship with groovy. Well, to say that my unhappiness was solely in the relationship isn’t fair to either groovy nor I, but I hope you take my meaning. We were both hoping that this medication would start to fix our problems. On Friday, I realized that this hope was incorrectly placed where it would do no good…the medication will not fix our problems at all. It’s not designed to do this. I was commiserating with Cowgirl, one of my coworkers, and I said “Surely it isn’t supposed to be like this.” It’s not…it really isn’t. Continuing down this path would only hurt both groovy and me…and I am tired of hurting myself, and I don’t want to hurt other people anymore. We spoke yesterday afternoon and have decided that the best thing, for both of us, is for us to go our separate ways.
Groovy, I sincerely wish for you to be a happy person…one so full of life and promise deserves to be happy and with someone that can appreciate your unique goofiness. I see no reason that this should be the end of our friendship…and I hope this remains true in the future.
So, to the future…what does it hold for Scott? I don’t really know…and I say that honestly…I have my hopes and my dreams, and will work towards them. The sun is rising once again on my life…the heat of the rays are warming my face. To the new day…
posted by LaTech at 6:46 AM
1 Comments:
We are all children stumbling in the dark on the road of life. We make plans and aspirations with no real idea how things will go or where we may end up. I used to think that I was an intelligent person, but if there’s one thing I’ve come to understand, it’s that “the more I learn, the less I know.” I wish I could do more to help (than just words), but I’m just as much in the dark as you are, but I am more than willing to share some of the experience that I’ve gained along the way. Things are so much easier when we are children; the world is black and white, and the good guys always win in the end, but things are so much more complicated when we grow up (or at least we seem to make them that way). In the world of marketing (among other things), perception is everything; I find that in the “game” of life, perspective is everything. Of all of the things that we collect throughout our lives, we are not able to take anything with us but the memories and experiences that we collect throughout our lives. I am always amazed at the way my life has turned out and twists and turns it has taken. I never expected to be a father of three, I never expected to be working where I am, and I find that professionally I really enjoy the more artistic side of what I do, as opposed to the programming. I guess I have always been influenced by the arts somewhat, and when it comes to my outlook on life; I have always liked the message and inspiration of the movie “Meet Joe Black.” It’s ironic that it’s generally at the twilight of life (or in the face of death) that we really remember what’s important. It is important that we learn from the mistakes in our lives, but it is also important that we not dwell on them (because there are always more mistakes to make). We are all flawed individuals, and I guess sometimes the best that you can do is to hold on to what’s important, and try to see the positive in whatever situation you find yourself in. I hope that you find happiness and a light to light your way through the darkness. I hope that you find what is important and hold on to it. It is important to remember that it is perspective and not perception that will help to hold us to the proper course.
If you need some musical inspiration, I hope that this will help: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnOvGGGf6qA
Take care,
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