Guilt...why?
Two things are bothering me today and I feel compelled to write about both of them.
First, I want to talk about guilt. Guilt is feeling bad about something that you had the power to control either by action or inaction. That means, something happened that effected you as a person came about as a result of you doing, or not doing, something.
I've recently been through this, and am presently feeling guilt as a direct result...here's why: I'm one of those people that has morals (yeah, believe it or not), and there are certain things that I feel that I, as a person, am supposed to do. For now, we'll only be talking about 2 of these things.
The first of these things that make up the core of my psyche is "honor". Honor can simply be defined as "High respect". Now, I feel that it is my duty, at all times, to honor everyone that I can. This is, I admit, sometimes difficult. For instance, what if there are two people that both want me to do something, but they have conflicting views (one wants me to do something, the other wants me to do the opposite). It's at these times that the thing that I do is which ever is the most "right"; that is, whichever of the two choices is the right thing to do. If I were asked to help someone with something, and asked to ignore that person...I would be honor bound to help that person...regardless of what the other person thought.
The second of these things is "respect". Respect is simply defined as "A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. " I feel that it is my duty, at all times, to repsect everyone that I can. Do you sense a pattern here? Yes...I do too.
Honor and respect are VERY closely tied together. It's putting someone else before you. It's always trying to do the right thing, regardless of what others think. This could, of course, go back to my Scouting days...who knows for sure...but, I like to think that it goes far beyond that. That it is something that is as much a part of me as my name.
The question then is, "Why are you feeling guilt if these things are so much a part of you?" Quite simply, I made a decision that hurt people (as well as myself). I know what you're thinking..."Scott, everyone hurts someone eventually." This is true, but, because of my duty to honor and respect, it hurts me on a grand scale when I hurt someone else.
So, then the question I asked myself is, "How does one free one's self from these feelings of guilt?" Well, quite simply, you must apologize to the person that was wronged. This is sometimes harder to do than one would imagine. I mean, pride will always get in the way of your endeavours, and will make you say to yourself, "They will never accept my apology...I'll just tell myself I told them and will move on." The only problem with that line of reasoning is: You never forget. Well, I take that back...a moral person will never forget.
There is one other thing that bothers me that I want to talk about here. I know this isn't fair to put one's own values on someone else, but to be treated with respect from time to time would be really nice. At my present job, I am not respected at all. I play several different roles here, and none of them are really that much fun. For instance, instead of walking down the hall to open up a classroom, I will get a call asking me to walk to the other side of the building to open it for them. I, of course, do so...but, it would be nice to be treated with as much respect as I give out.
Anyway, these are the things that have been bothering me. As a footnote, I have since apologized to the person that I offended, and am patiently awaiting a response. Will I get one? Only time will tell.
(both definitions used here are taken from dictionay.com)
First, I want to talk about guilt. Guilt is feeling bad about something that you had the power to control either by action or inaction. That means, something happened that effected you as a person came about as a result of you doing, or not doing, something.
I've recently been through this, and am presently feeling guilt as a direct result...here's why: I'm one of those people that has morals (yeah, believe it or not), and there are certain things that I feel that I, as a person, am supposed to do. For now, we'll only be talking about 2 of these things.
The first of these things that make up the core of my psyche is "honor". Honor can simply be defined as "High respect". Now, I feel that it is my duty, at all times, to honor everyone that I can. This is, I admit, sometimes difficult. For instance, what if there are two people that both want me to do something, but they have conflicting views (one wants me to do something, the other wants me to do the opposite). It's at these times that the thing that I do is which ever is the most "right"; that is, whichever of the two choices is the right thing to do. If I were asked to help someone with something, and asked to ignore that person...I would be honor bound to help that person...regardless of what the other person thought.
The second of these things is "respect". Respect is simply defined as "A feeling of appreciative, often deferential regard; esteem. " I feel that it is my duty, at all times, to repsect everyone that I can. Do you sense a pattern here? Yes...I do too.
Honor and respect are VERY closely tied together. It's putting someone else before you. It's always trying to do the right thing, regardless of what others think. This could, of course, go back to my Scouting days...who knows for sure...but, I like to think that it goes far beyond that. That it is something that is as much a part of me as my name.
The question then is, "Why are you feeling guilt if these things are so much a part of you?" Quite simply, I made a decision that hurt people (as well as myself). I know what you're thinking..."Scott, everyone hurts someone eventually." This is true, but, because of my duty to honor and respect, it hurts me on a grand scale when I hurt someone else.
So, then the question I asked myself is, "How does one free one's self from these feelings of guilt?" Well, quite simply, you must apologize to the person that was wronged. This is sometimes harder to do than one would imagine. I mean, pride will always get in the way of your endeavours, and will make you say to yourself, "They will never accept my apology...I'll just tell myself I told them and will move on." The only problem with that line of reasoning is: You never forget. Well, I take that back...a moral person will never forget.
There is one other thing that bothers me that I want to talk about here. I know this isn't fair to put one's own values on someone else, but to be treated with respect from time to time would be really nice. At my present job, I am not respected at all. I play several different roles here, and none of them are really that much fun. For instance, instead of walking down the hall to open up a classroom, I will get a call asking me to walk to the other side of the building to open it for them. I, of course, do so...but, it would be nice to be treated with as much respect as I give out.
Anyway, these are the things that have been bothering me. As a footnote, I have since apologized to the person that I offended, and am patiently awaiting a response. Will I get one? Only time will tell.
(both definitions used here are taken from dictionay.com)
posted by LaTech at 12:16 PM
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